S02E05: The Deerland Mall

NADIA: Do you think if I laid face down in that creek, I’d drown? Seems like the quickest way out of here.

ALEX: Don’t say that. We’re going to stop all this and get back home, right Liv?

OLIVIA: Y-yeah, that’s the plan.

NADIA: Cool. So how do we do that? I can’t just do what I did when…Daryll…you know.

ALEX: And your mind stuff isn’t working either?

OLIVIA: N-no. But we have no idea what’s out there. Maybe it’s something we can take down on our own.

NADIA: Yeah, maybe.

ALEX: Hey, that looks like some light ahead. A car? A flashlight?

OLIVIA: Don’t look at it.

ALEX: What?

OLIVIA: The light. If it’s from one of the Larks–Crickets–it can play tricks on you. It can take over your thoughts.

ALEX: It’s just a light, dude.

OLIVIA: I don’t hear any song…All right, let’s investigate.

NADIA: Great.

They came upon a field of overgrown parking lot lights, no asphalt in sight. Just rows of tall curved metal, shining dimly down on the dark grass below. At the far end of the field, nestled among massive gnarled roots and branches, was a large building, a familiar sight for Nadia and Alex.

ALEX: Oh shit, that’s the Deerland Mall. What’s it doing out here?

OLIVIA: I wonder if it’s locked.

The glass double doors were covered in creeping vines and caked with mud. Pieces of the siding and roof had fallen around the entrance. Signs on the facade flickered neon pink and blue in the dark, buzzing in the stillness of the humid forest.

OLIVIA: There’s at least some electricity still. Maybe there’s something useful inside. *effort sound as she tries to push on the bar* It’s locked. Looks like there’s a chain on the inside, too. Maybe if we could–

*glass shatters, thud*

OLIVIA: Jesus, Alex! That rock barely missed my head.

ALEX: You gotta trust my aim, dude.  I wasn’t about to kick another door.

NADIA: All that softball practice coming in handy. Too bad you never showed up to a game.

*footsteps on broken glass*

NADIA: Wow, haven’t been here in a while.

ALEX: That’s the awful pizza place I used to steal garlic knots from. Oh! And the theater. Olivia, you remember when we bought tickets to Alvin and the Chipmunks so we could sneak into Sweeney Todd?

OLIVIA: Not really, it’s a bit hazy.

ALEX: That was like three years ago.

OLIVIA: Ha, yeah, for sure.

Olivia took in her surroundings. The smell of the old clothes, the colors of the banners and the coin operated carousel, the taste of stromboli. She tried to recall the sticky floors in the theater, the tiny seats, the posters in the lobby, but it was like the image was covered in vaseline.

OLIVIA: N-no, that’s not right. I…I remember…well, not everything, but–

Thinking further, there were a number of holes in her recollection. But those thoughts receded quickly, because they gave her a sinking feeling in her stomach, made her feel lightheaded and small, like when she used to imagine the size of the universe, the lifespans of planets and things older than her comprehension that would outlive her by just as long. Thinking of dinosaurs and nautilus, cave paintings and stone tools, and the echoes of memory in spinal fluid. The fathomless depths of time, like the infinite sea, all lead to now. Time and space at that scale, it ceases to be real. She ceased to be real for a moment as well, and she was suddenly aware that Nadia, Alex, everyone, they all had thoughts just like hers. They had histories, too. They had complex internal lives and innumerable thoughts fully opaque to her. A star system held in each mind, billions of minds lighting up the sky. She was small, galactically inert, a single fiber in a cosmic yarn. A spec of dust among the pile that thought it knew itself, and knew very little else.

ALEX: You good, Liv? I just filled this up from the drinking fountain. Still tastes clean. Have some.

OLIVIA: Okay…

NADIA: You look super pale. Do you want to sit at the food court?

OLIVIA: N-no, I’m fine.

ALEX: Look at all this wrecked stuff, dude.

OLIVIA: It's almost a shame places like this went out of business, you know?

ALEX: That's the way the market rolls, though. Don't like it? Russia's right over there.

OLIVIA: Where do teens even hang out now?

NADIA: Ew don’t call us “teens.” Malls were never that great to begin with. Total normie magnets.

OLIVIA: Well, since it seems calm in here, want to go look around? Maybe we can find stuff to take with us.

ALEX: Hell yeah, I’m going to the arcade. Ooh, and I wonder if the place I used to take taekwando is still here.

NADIA: I’m gonna go check out the Hot Topic.

OLIVIA: Neat! I’ll come along if you don’t mind, Nadia.

NADIA: Sure.

*steps in different directions*

***

ALEX: Oh my god, they’ve still got power in here. I bet that cockpit game hasn’t been inspected since it was put in here. Wow, simpsons, mortal kombat, cruis’n…oh ho ho ho, holy shit, house of the dead. I don’t have any quarters…I wonder if the old ways still work.

*some coin slot noises*

ALEX: I remember spending like 3 hours here one time while mom bought me school clothes I hated. Thank christ I’ll be out of the house in a month or two. Damn this screen is brighter than I remember. Should have worn sunglasses.

*pew pew*

ALEX: God that light’s intense. I know it’s called light gun, but come on. I died so many times here. I can almost smell what this place used to be, the cheap cleaning spray, the calzones at Umberto’s, the stale carpet. Sometimes it’s like…I want to go back. But then I think, fuck no why would I want to be a kid again. I can drive and do whatever I want. No more homework, no more getting up at 6am, *succumbing to the light* none of the bus rides through the dewey grass where the birds called, where my mom cried seeing the white dove the day after the news, the endless clouds and gray on white on gray and fields of gravel. I joined the bureau, yes, for her but also to do something, to leave and to live and…wait, what? I don’t remember doing that…what was I thinking about? I gotta stop, my head hurts.

***

*gate shakes*

OLIVIA: Don’t think it’ll budge without the key. I’ll go check maintenance.

*steps*

OLIVIA: Here we go, a whole keyring.

NADIA: Sick.

*gate lifts*

NADIA: Oooh yeah, this is it. Oh my god, look at this shirt. I think I had this when I was 13.

OLIVIA: It’s certainly…unique!

NADIA: I thought I was such hot shit, ha. Did you ever have like a scene phase? Nightmare Before Christmas socks and long gloves?

OLIVIA: …not really.

NADIA: I didn’t think so. I haven’t known you that long, but you just don’t seem like the type. I, on the other hand, did. As you could guess.

OLIVIA: I didn’t want to say it, but…yeah, kinda.

NADIA: It’s cool. We all did embarrassing stuff when we were kids.

OLIVIA: You still are, you know.

NADIA: What, a kid? I guess if you’re like a decrepit “twenty-something” and think everyone younger than you’s in kindergarten then sure. *good natured ribbing* You’re like 3 months younger than me, anyway, so don’t go calling me kid, kid.

OLIVIA: Sorry, I forget sometimes.

NADIA: You forget a lot. Are you okay? Is there something you’re keeping to yourself?

OLIVIA: You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.

NADIA: Probably not. You could try anyway.

OLIVIA: Okay, I’m actually from about a decade in the future. Alex got shot, and I tried to go back in time, or into another dimension, or whatever it was that saved you when you died–

NADIA: What the fuck.

OLIVIA: –Sorry, you died, she was dying, and I overshot. So now I’m here, stuck in Alex’s memories. This is all just a reconstruction of the past, but it’s also real? I spoke with a fictional character earlier who’s helping me through all this.

NADIA: That’s pretty good. You should tell Alex though. I don’t know how she’d feel about you using her real name in your story about her dying lol. I don’t mind if you use me. Maybe give me a cool nickname.

OLIVIA: Right.

NADIA: Ooh, look at this studded belt. These things destroyed the back of my guitar.

*pause*

NADIA: Hey, sorry for putting you on blast earlier. You’re all right. Is there a love interest in your story?

OLIVIA: Um…maybe. Probably? Speaking of, do you…do you like, “like” anyone?

NADIA: Mmmm. Why?

OLIVIA: I just…I know someone who might kind of have a crush on you. But she’s...a little shy about it.

NADIA: She?

OLIVIA: Um. Is that an issue?

NADIA: No, no. So some girl has a cursh on me. That’s cute. Pff, look at this. Who even listens to Hawthorne Heights anymore?

OLIVIA: Sooo?

NADIA: So what?

OLIVIA: Do you like anyone?

NADIA: Depends. Is this mystery girl gonna actually tell me she likes me, or just hint at it?

OLIVIA: I mean, she wants to, but doesn’t know if you feel the same.

NADIA: I’ll think about it.

***

ALEX: Hey, that’s Gum Gum Paradiso! I used to, umm, buy candy there all the time. Oh my god, all this sugar, all these memories. This place is making my imagination run wild. I’m like a…me in a candy store! Yo, Liv, come check this out. You like bad candy, right? Got some licorice in here, still in the package. I–

*gate falling noise, click*

ALEX: Great, I’m locked in. Hey, Liv? Nadia? Can you guys hear me? The stupid gate came down. Hello?

ALEX: I bought pokemon cards here when I was younger. In japanese, I think. Some of them anyway. I remember trying to sneak a gummy worm from one of the cases, and the clerk totally caught me. I was 13, I really should have known better. She’s not here to stop me now, though, is she? I can eat all the melted gummies I want.

*pause*

ALEX: Olivia? Anyone? It’s so booooring without them. I’ve got no one to make fun of. Who’s supposed to laugh at my jokes?

*pause*

ALEX: Maybe I joke too much. I’m always turning everything into a joke. I can’t take anything seriously. Or maybe I’m just afraid to. Afraid to be real in front of people, then they might give me shit for it. Always gotta be cool, collected Alex. Above it all. *with a mouthful* Well, not above eating stuff that’s definitely gonna give me food poisoning.

God, I’m even doing it now. Daryll’s dead, I’m hella gay and too much of a wuss to tell her, Nadia might die any minute, and I’m sitting here making my little jokes. Pathetic. Fucking pathetic, Alex. Get it together. Get serious, get serious, get real for once in your dumbass life. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop blaming it all on our messed up society–which, like yeah, it is messed up, but that’s not the point right now. Stand up, make a move, and don’t make it funny. Don’t laugh! But if she’s straight…

***

*footsteps*

OLIVIA: Alex? You still around?

ALEX: Thank christ, I’m not alone with my thoughts anymore. Yeah, over here! The stupid thing locked.

OLIVIA: Okay, I found a ring of keys earlier. Let me see if I can get you out. Nadia?

NADIA: Yup.

*chain noises, gate rises*

ALEX: Thanks. Want some gummy worms? They’re probably only a couple years expired.

NADIA: Ew, did you eat those?

ALEX: Yeah, what’s–*shriek*

Alex dropped the handful of worms to the floor, where they squirmed and crawled on the scuffed tile.

ALEX: I promise you those were not moving when I ate them.

OLIVIA: What the hell is this place, you guys?

NADIA: Just a dead mall.

ALEX: With alive worms.

OLIVIA: I wonder if there’s any shelf-stable food around. I’m getting hungry.

ALEX: Yeah, I’m starving.

NADIA: Oh? Scarfing a handful of live bait wasn’t enough?

ALEX: I’ll kill you so dead your great great times a hundred caveman grandpaw sheds a single tear.

OLIVIA: Let’s go raid the proverbial fridge.

***

ALEX: Eyyy, score! This freezer’s still plugged in. There’s like four bags of frozen pretzels in here.

OLIVIA: Cool, I’ll see if I can thaw the pretzels.

NADIA: I found a bottle of old wine and some napkins. How are we gonna open this thing? The cork’s a little jammed.

ALEX: *teeth full* I’ll just use my teeth.

NADIA: No, don’t–

*pop*

NADIA: Okay, you neanderthal.

ALEX: *sips, shudders* Blehh. Here.

NADIA: That’s…not good.

OLIVIA: Nadia, that’s cooking wine.

NADIA: Oops.

OLIVIA: *sigh* Give it here.

ALEX: How long have we been out here now? Two hours? Ten?

OLIVIA: It’s been a minute. It’s nice to sit down, though.

ALEX: What if we played a game?

NADIA: No.

OLIVIA: Like what?

ALEX: Never have I ever.

NADIA: Nope.

OLIVIA: Oh, god. Okay, why not. You go first though, Alex.

ALEX: All right, all right. Uhhh never have I ever…been named Nadia.

NADIA: That’s not how it works.

ALEX: Fiiine. Never have I ever eaten lamb.

NADIA: Shit.

OLIVIA: One for Nadia.

ALEX: Your turn, Liv.

OLIVIA: Oh. Never have I ever…been in a car accident.

ALEX: Yowch. One.

NADIA: I don’t drive.

OLIVIA: You’re up Nadia.

NADIA: Ughh, okay. Never have I ever…I don’t know. Do I have to?

OLIVIA: It can be anything, just whatever’s on your mind.

NADIA: All right. Never have I ever had a crush on a classmate.

ALEX: Bullshit. I don’t buy it.

NADIA: For real. They’ve all been in different classes. Or people I didn’t know IRL.

ALEX: Okay, well, that’s another for me. This game sucks.

OLIVIA: One for me too. Want to play something else, Alex?

ALEX: Nah, I’m gonna take a short walk. My legs are falling asleep.

OLIVIA: Just…be careful.

ALEX: I’ll be fiiiine. See ya, nerds.

OLIVIA: Whew, that wine’s pretty potent.

NADIA: For real. My face is all tingly.

OLIVIA: You must be hot in that sweater.

NADIA: I’ve got a goth constitution. I can wear black in any heat.

OLIVIA: Wait, that hoodie’s from hot topic. Did you just steal that?

NADIA: I left a twenty on the counter.

OLIVIA: Oh, cool.

NADIA: Yeah, I definitely did that.

*pause*

OLIVIA: Wait, when–

NADIA: Sooo…you’ve liked a classmate?

OLIVIA: Oh, yeah, I mean, especially back in *about to say college*coll–umbus. When I went to school in Columbus.

NADIA: Cool, didn’t know you lived down there. Is that friend of yours that’s crushing on me in our class?

OLIVIA: She was. Sorry, it’s probably obvious who it is, but still…I don’t just want to say it like that, you know?

NADIA: I get you. No wonder this stuff’s hitting me. It’s 15%.

OLIVIA: Jeez, really?

NADIA: Yeah, come look.

OLIVIA: Where? Wow, your face is warm.

NADIA, quietly: Lean in closer. It’s riiight here.

OLIVIA: I still–*mmmph*

*very awkward kiss*

OLIVIA: Stop, h-hold on, I’m not…

NADIA: What? I thought…you said “your friend” likes me. That’s like the universal sign for “I like you.” It’s the oldest trick in the book–no, it fuckin predates the book.

OLIVIA: No, Scarlet–Alex–she…

NADIA: *simple understanding* Ohhh. *surprised, realizing* Oh. *the implications* OH.

OLIVIA: So…

NADIA:  God I’m so embarrassed. Just shove me in a closet and leave me here to rot. Sorry. Like…sorry. I like Alex. I’d prolly say yes if she asked me out. IF she asked me out. I’m not gonna go easy on her. She has to face herself, by herself. Or at least talk to me about it. If she can be honest with her feelings, then maybe.

OLIVIA: She’s afraid of being rejected. Not just by you, by everyone. She’s worried people won’t like her anymore if they know.

NADIA: That’s dumb. But I get it.

ALEX: Hey, I’m back. What are you two whispering about? Did you notice it get really dark in here?

OLIVIA: Seems like the power’s fading.

ALEX: Maybe a generator went busto.

OLIVIA: I feel like there’s something else. Do you feel it? Like pressure in the air, outside of the heat.

ALEX: I guess?

OLIVIA: And listen. Do you hear that? That…thumping?

Somewhere deep within the guts of the Church of Immaculate Consumption, a rhythmic hammer thrummed in time. Pumping, rumbling, subsonic and psionic.

ALEX: W-what is that? It sounds bigger than the worm dudes. Is this one of those crickets?

OLIVIA: N-no, I’ve seen one before. They’re not that big.

NADIA: Is it…is it getting closer?

*collage of thumping getting closer, tense music, machines straining*

OLIVIA: Oh my god.

Snapping through tables and rolling over plastic chairs was a mass of pulsating tissue. In its wake, it left a a crimson sheen. It stood thrice Alex’s height, and nearly filled the atrium floor to ceiling. The dripping mound of flesh rumbled with each beat of its twitching form. It was an enlarged organ, and though it was not in a body, there was a body within it–something had hollowed out the heart’s core. From a ventricle near the ground slithered two claws slick with blood, a series of armored legs, several wet antennae, and two pitch black eyes. Embedded in its limbs were pieces of consumer-grade detritus: a cotton candy machine, a freezer door, clothes hangers and shoeboxes, cheap swords and cheaper electronics; the vomitous remains of shopping centers statewide. Memories of objects gone that won’t let go, like gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe.

ALEX: We need to go. I don’t know if this thing’s hostile, but we can’t take the–

*Alex pained noise, crash*

OLIVIA: No, no, no…

NADIA: Alex!

The giant beating heart crept past Nadia and Olivia, and receded into the dark beyond, leaving only a trail of red and a murmuring pulse behind. Nadia and Olivia rushed to the body in the kitchen. Nadia wiped the sticky clotting hair from Alex’s face.

ALEX, very weak: Hey.

NADIA: Don’t talk. Come on, it’ll be okay. It’ll be okay!

OLIVIA: If it pierced her intestines, it might not…

ALEX: There’s something I wanted to tell you, before it’s too late…

NADIA: Shh, shh. Don’t worry Alex. We’re gonna get you out of here. W-we’re gonna get you patched up.

OLIVIA: I’ve got to check the wounds. Hold her still.

ALEX: Listen, Nadia…I know this is gonna be hard to hear…

NADIA: What, what is it Alex?

ALEX: The thing is…for a long time, I didn’t know…

OLIVIA: Um..whoa. Look at this.

ALEX: I don’t know if you…who you like…

OLIVIA: Tell her to stop talking and look at her torso.Nadia, there’s nothing here.

ALEX: If you…play for a certain team, if you’re a friend of–

OLIVIA: *sigh* She’s bi, Alex. Yes. Nadia’s bi, I’m bi, everyone’s bi. We kissed earlier, and it’s fine. The world didn’t end. Also: you’re fine, it would seem. There’s no wound. That’s not your blood.

ALEX, sounding a bit stronger: What?

OLIVIA: I don’t know how, but you’re just bruised up. I don’t even see any sprains or anything.

ALEX, mostly better now: Seriously?

OLIVIA: Yeah, most people’s skeletons would be pulp after that, but you–

ALEX: No, I don’t care about that. Nadia’s seriously into girls? And you kissed her?

NADIA: Uh, well, I haven’t really told anyone. I wasn’t expecting my coming out to be so gory–thanks, Liv–

OLIVIA: Ope.

NADIA: But yeah.

OLIVIA: I didn’t know you weren’t out–

NADIA: Forget about it. It’s pretty metal, honestly.

ALEX: I just…that’s good to know. Wait, so I’m not dying?

NADIA: I guess not?

ALEX: Still feels like I’ve been run through a trash compactor, though.

OLIVIA: Your “variance,” what’s special about you, is harder to see from the outside. You’re tough as hell, Alex.

ALEX: Dude, I’ve got a passive buff.

NADIA: God, you suck.

ALEX: No, what I was trying to say before is that I don’t suck–

NADIA: Not the time, Alex.

*crackling PA system*

FATHER WELLEN on the PA: Good evening, ladies, I see you’ve just had a brush with the cretaceous divine. You picked a good day to stop on by. Tonight is the night of communion, the night of the Writhing, and you shall all bear witness.

END