Episode 11: Game Night

Fern Daemon: DM

Scarlet Jaunt: Bristle Widearm, Barbarian

Violet Lull: Lilith Evermore, Rogue

Lapis Lore: Viridium Lytheria, Warlock

Copper View: Shane Blackwell, Artificer, gunslinger custom subclass

SCARLET: So, that’s our party. Me, you, Lapis, and Copper.

VIOLET, quietly to Scarlet: I can’t believe you dragged me along to this.

SCARLET: Come on, it could be fun! I’ve never played with Fern or Copper, but it should be fine.

VIOLET: Scarlet, I’m not really sure this is my thing.

SCARLET: Come oooon, give it a shot. Have some fun! Fern’s cool. Fern Daemon, IT?

VIOLET: *sigh* Fine, whatever. Let’s just do this.

FERN: All right, everyone! Let’s get some introductions out of the way. Violet, who are you tonight?

VIOLET: Don’t start with me.

FERN: O-okay, uh Lapis, who are you playing?

LAPIS: Um…I’m Viridium, Viridium Lytheria. A warlock of the fairies?

FERN: Archfey.

LAPIS: Right, warlock of the Archfey. I have long green hair, pointy ears, turquoise jewelry, and a wide-brim hat and round glasses.

FERN: Is that elf or half-elf?

LAPIS: The sheet says elf. Does that mean Legolas elf or little Keebler elf?

FERN: Uhh closer to Legolas, I’d say. Okay, good to meet you, Viridium! Next up, let’s see who Scarlet will be.

SCARLET: Hah. I’m Bristle Widearm, strongman about town and axe throwing champ. Just as much a lover as a fighter. Probably has a few old flames scattered around.

FERN: Human barbarian, right?

SCARLET: If you want to stuff Bristle into a box, then yes, Barbarian fits.

FERN: Haha got it. Violet, you ready?

VIOLET: I guess. My character’s name is Lilith Evermore.

COPPER: Is there a Mister Evermore??

VIOLET: She kills all her suitors, especially dweeby little–

FERN: You’ll get your turn, Copper. What’s Lilith all about?

VIOLET: Lilith is a thief, she wears all black, and she’s training to be an assassin to take revenge on her mother’s killer. She’s got black horns and purple eyes. Not to mention her old flames in town.

FERN: You chose tiefling, right?

VIOLET: Yyyup.

FERN: Great! Last one: Copper, who are you playing as?

COPPER, doing a southern accent: Well, now, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Shane Blackwell, artificer and genius inventor. Best not get on my bad side or you’ll be staring down the barrel of one of my hand cannons. (dropping the accent) They’re like revolvers, but made of alchemical metal. They shoot blasts of magical force and deal 1d10 on each hit.

(overlapping)

SCARLET: Wait, what? You have guns?--

VIOLET: Bullshit, come ON–

LAPIS: I thought it was the middle ages…

FERN: There are handgun stats in the game, but Shane’s weapons are basically reskinned crossbows. They’re not like literal homebrewed guns.

COPPER: Shane did invent them, though, so people might not know what they are. Shane’s about six foot five, a Shadar-kai, which is like a dark elf but actually touched by the shadowfell. So he’s got ash colored skin and dark eyes. He’s an orphan and he’s like…in between life and death.

VIOLET: Mm-hmm.

FERN: Okay! Well, if you’re all ready, let’s get started! 

The war has ended. It was brief, but bloody for both sides. Rendell, the western country and former occupier, officially declared victory after wiping out most of Zentaria’s forces. The losses were significant for Rendell, too, due to Zentaria’s superior magical knowledge and unique combat tactics. But now, with the end declared, remaining troops are heading home to their families, cities are being rebuilt, and treaties signed. Rendell has won, but they’ve paid a price: many have died, from combat and hunger. Meanwhile, the small island nation of Wyvern’s Fang has remained neutral, functioning as a refuge for some, an opportunity to cash in for others. With trade routes being re-established, Wyvern’s Fang looks to become a cultural and economic hotspot between Rendell and Zentaria.

Inside one large wagon in a caravan heading to the capital city of Wyvern’s Fang sits a tiefling in all black. Next to her, a green-haired elf, gazing out the window at the passing sugarcane fields, daydreaming about the future. Nearby, a man cloaked in fine garb and hat, closely eyes the other passengers in the wagon with a palm on a metal device at his side. Near the front of the wagon, a burly human’s laugh shakes the whole cart. You’ve all come here for your own reasons: for research, for revenge, for a new start, but you’ve come here all the same. A supposed tropical paradise awaits.

Far ahead, you see the gates. The wagon comes to a quick stop, jostling everyone slightly out of place. 

Everyone, give me a perception check.

VIOLET: Are we playing now?

*rolls*

SCARLET: 14.

LAPIS: The ball says 10, do I add anything to that?

SCARLET, quietly to LAPIS: Add the bonus under your skills. Right there.

LAPIS: Oh! Lucky 13.

COPPER: Oooh 19.

VIOLET: I got a big 7.

FERN: So Bristle and Shane, you hear a powerful, guttural noise, uhh unrecognizable really, and various human shrieks and, and cries. A loud crash, and loose horses run. And before you can leave the cabin, it’s struck and thrown off the road. You tumble down the eastern hill, and the cart’s spinning side over side, until it slams and breaks against a cliff wall. Make a constitution saving throw for me.

*rolls*

COPPER: 17!

SCARLET: Bristle’s con is pretty solid so…14.

VIOLET: 9. Great.

LAPIS: 15. Where is…

SCARLET: The top left there, it’s–

LAPIS: 16.

FERN: So Violet, Lilith is temporarily knocked out. She’ll be up again in about a round. The rest of you, you’re fine.

SCARLET: Okay, Bristle is like instantly pulling out his greataxe. I’m gonna look around and see if I can find what made the noise. And probably kill it.

FERN: All right, Bristle’s on the lookout. Lapis, what is Viridium doing?

LAPIS: Hmm. Can I cast magicks?

FERN: Sure! What do you want to do?

LAPIS: I want to use my Armor of…Ahgathees? Agathys?

FERN: Okay, so you get some extra hit points, right?

LAPIS: I believe so. It says it lasts one hour. 

FERN: Great, that’s plenty of time.

LAPIS: Can I tell you how it looks?

FERN: Oh for sure!

LAPIS: Viridium’s eyes go white, and many colorful rays appear around her, like a rainbow. And a full moon is behind her.

FERN: Hell yeah! 

LAPIS: And her eyes go wide as she says, “Arch Fairy protect your…humble servant from…agents of order!”

COPPER, in accent: Good, Bristle, you go find the dastards what done this. I’ll protect Lilith. (dropping accent) I’m going to try to pick up Lilith and carry her to safety.

VIOLET: Ugh.

FERN: Okay, um, you’re probably able to move her under a tree and out of the way without too much effort.

COPPER, accented: I’ll be right back, little missy. (dropping accent) I’m gonna run next to Bristle and draw my hand cannons and twirl one around.

FERN: Lapis, is Viridium staying by Lilith or going up with the guys?

LAPIS: It seems like I should stay…I do not want Lilith to get hurt. Can I make a pillow out of leaves or use several squirrels as a blanket for her?

FERN: Hmm…sure. For the first one. There’s probably enough leaves around to make a little pile.

SCARLET: So do I find anything?

FERN: Give me an investigation check.

SCARLET: Uh-oh. Okay that’s a 14 minus 1, so 13.

FERN: Okay, okay. So Bristle, you head back to the dirt road

FERN: So you find some big footprints, not really humanoid. Kind of lizard-like. But nearby, there are a couple of dudes with like bandanas around their mouths and knives out. 

SCARLET: Is that bandits? Like cartoon bandits?

FERN: Kind of looks like it, yeah.

SCARLET: Axe time then, baby.

COPPER: Shane followed along, too.

FERN: Sure, okay.

SCARLET: Britle’s gonna charge in and swing at the closest one.

FERN:  

SCARLET: Ouch. Flat 3.

COPPER: Fou-uhh, fourteen, plus 4, 18. 

LAPIS: Should I roll?

FERN: Hmm, not yet since you’re out of combat. But if you want to go help, you can roll.

VIOLET: Am I awake yet?

FERN: Uhh yes, you’ve just woken up, and you see the cart destroyed and Bristle Widearm chasing down some shady figures with his axe.

VIOLET: Good, finally.

LAPIS: Oh, Lilith, you’re alive! Do you want to go help the others?

VIOLET: I guess. Lilith is going to take out her curved dagger and…do I like have some poison or something? How does that work?

FERN: I don’t think you have poison at the moment. You could buy some in town later, though.

VIOLET: Okay, so I’ll just run up to the road then.

LAPIS: I’m coming, too! 

FERN: Great, give me initiative rolls then.

*rolls*

LAPIS: 18, plus um…20 altogether.

VIOLET: Are you kidding me? Can I switch dice?

FERN: What is it?

VIOLET: I rolled a six. I can’t roll above a fucking 10.

FERN: That sucks. Yeah, here take this one. Go ahead and roll again.

*rolls*

VIOLET: Whatever.

FERN: What’s your dex?

VIOLET: Looks like 18.

FERN: So that’s a 5 total. Still above Bristle.

VIOLET: Yeah. 

FERN: The bandits got an 11 and a 6, so…

COPPER: All right, I’m going to back 5 feet and left 15 feet, to be just in front of where Lilith’s coming up. (accented) Viridium, Lilith, y’all folks stay behind me, I’ll throw down some cover fire for the big man.

VIOLET: I mean, I have a dagger. I have to get up close.

COPPER, still in accent: Well, just be on the lookout. These fellows look mighty mean.

FERN: Anything else on your turn, Copper?

COPPER: Yeah, I’m going to attack with my hand cannons.

*rolls*

COPPER: Do I have advantage on that? Since Bristle’s right there, too?

FERN: No, flanking’s out in this edition.

 

COPPER: Hmm. Okay, not sure why they took that out. Seems weird. So that was a 12. I presume that misses?

FERN: Uhh yes, looks like the bandit manages to step aside at just the right time.

COPPER: Good thing I’ve got the second gun! 

*rolls*

COPPER: Much better, 15 plus 4, 19.

FERN: Okay, that’s definitely a hit.

COPPER: That’s 11 damage total. So I fire a bolt of magic out of the gun and it hits him right in the chest, and he flies backward and slams against a tree.

FERN: Sure, umm, he’s down for the count.

COPPER, accent: I got you covered, Lilith, head on in!

FERN: Well, next up is…wait did we skip Lapis?

LAPIS: I do not remember, I was conjuring a perfect cube in my mind.

FERN: What spell is that?

LAPIS: Oh, no, I was doing that, not my Viridium

FERN: Okay, I think we did skip Lapis. Go ahead and go now and next round you’ll be at the top. Sorry about that.

LAPIS: It’s okay! I’m going to go up to the other bandit and…I have a scary fey presence, do I not?

FERN: Let me see…starting first level…wisdom saving throw equal to the warlock’s spell save DC. Cool! He got a 11 total. Does that beat your DC?

LAPIS: I’m not sure.

SCARLET: Right up here near the spells. I think yours is 13.

LAPIS: Thank you, Scarlet. So he fails, correct?

FERN: Right. So you can choose to charm him or frighten him. Which do you want to do?

LAPIS: Oh, charm! So he’s enchanted by the fey magic?

FERN:   Okay, next up is the bandit. He’s about to come for Bristle, but he pauses when there’s a huge thump behind him. And from the trees, a hulking beast comes out. Like a massive lizard man. The bandit takes a step back, and says, “T-this wasn’t part of the plan! This was supposed to be a fakeout. T-This is real shit! Abort, abort! I’m out.” And he runs into the woods. Umm…So this huge reptile looks pretty hostile, and is heading toward the rest of the caravan. What do you do?

COPPER, accent: Well, looks like Viridium and I took care of that first threat, Lilith. Usually, when a hero steps up, some thankful folks will show their appreciation. What say a bit of gold, or a peck on the cheek, perhaps, before our next battle?

FERN: I’m not sure–

SCARLET: Haha no way–

VIOLET: Sorry, guys, I gotta get up in the morning. I have to go.

FERN: Oh, um okay let’s take a quick break.

*footsteps and shuffling papers*

SCARLET: Hey, I’m sorry about Copper, didn’t know he was such a dick.

VIOLET: Yeah, Scarlet, I think we’re done. 

SCARLET: For sure, I didn’t know it’d work out like this. Let’s go. I’ll tell Fern–

VIOLET: *sighs* No, Scarlet, I think we’re done. We need to take a break.

SCARLET: Wait, are you serious? Over this?

VIOLET: No, not just this. This is just like a microcosm of our whole…thing. I just…I feel like it’s not working anymore. I only came to this thing for you. And it sucked, as expected. 

SCARLET: Oh. 

VIOLET: It’s this, and it’s… I don’t want to go to the park when it’s 90 degrees out. I don’t want to always be responsible for things. God, I want to eat chicken nuggets. We just don’t fit.

SCARLET: I mean, we’re having fun, right?

VIOLET: Scarlet, you are a lot of fun, and you’re hot as hell, and you’re a good friend. Have been for a long time. I don’t want to ruin that friendship. We went through hell together. But there’s some things we need to explore on our own. 

SCARLET: Like what? 

VIOLET: Well, Scarlet, for one: I don’t think coupling up long-term with someone is for me.

SCARLET Oh. Well, okay.

VIOLET: You know I have trouble with…feelings like that. So I think it’s better if we end this now before either of us get hurt. Rather than drag it out.

SCARLET: So that’s it?

VIOLET: I guess, yeah. Are you okay?

SCARLET: I’ll be fine. Need a ride home?

VIOLET: …no, I’ll be fine. 

SCARLET: Catch you later, Vi. 

VIOLET: You too, Scarlet. Just…take care of yourself. Don’t overdo it.

SCARLET: Pssh, you know me. 

VIOLET: I do, that’s why–

SCARLET: Look, you’re the one doing this, right? Don’t get all soft now. Don’t act like you’re trying to do what’s best for me. Don’t pretend you’re worried about me. I’m not that kid anymore. I can take care of myself. I can manage without you.

VIOLET: That’s not fair. I’m not trying to hurt you, I–

SCARLET: *long exhale* I know, it’s…Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just…really sudden. And I really like you.

VIOLET: I like you too, Scar. But if it’s not working, isn’t this better than pretending everything’s fine and secretly hating each other for years? Like some kind of straight couple?

SCARLET: Hah! You’re right. You usually are…Well, I’m gonna go. We still on for Saturday with the group? Karaoke at Mel’s. 

VIOLET: I’d like that.

SCARLET: And keep me updated on Gerard, okay? I love that fucked up little furball.

VIOLET: Count on it.

SCARLET, walking away: And you can keep the Bureau shirt I left there. (distant and fading out) Hey Copper Top, game’s over. You don’t have to try to get your hands on every girl who tolerates you. All two of them. You could just chill for like a minute and look…

END